Half-Man, Half-Machine

Following a tumultuous three year stretch that saw the Los Angeles Lakers fail to advance out of the first round of the NBA playoffs, Kobe Bryant answered his critics with an MVP award and three Finals appearances since 2008. He has matured as a basketball player and (somewhat) repressed his pathological tendencies for the greater good of teamwork and chemistry. He has won two titles without Shaquille O'Neal and, perhaps even more impressively, with Luke Walton. But has Kobe really proven his mettle? The 350-pound monkey may be off his back but Kobe's greatest challenge still awaits. Can he win a title without Sasha Vujacic?

"He's not a man- he's a machine. A Terminator. A Cyberdyne Systems Model 101." -Kyle Reese in The Terminator

A lot of smart basketball people don't think much of Sasha Vujacic. They point to his 39% career field goal percentage, lack of athleticism and unfortunate habit of committing stupid fouls at the worst possible moments. They mention that he looks like he should be cast as an awkward transfer student on Glee and that even his fellow Slovenians hate him. But these smart basketball folk sell Sasha Vujacic short. After all, he once appeared on cable television as an "NBA star." That shows he has some serious acting chops and that cannot be underestimated on a professional sports franchise in Los Angeles.

On the court, Vujacic may have only scored a combined six field goals in the Lakers' two championship-clinching series but his contributions went deeper than that. He was fantastic for team chemistry because he possesses a singular ability to unite the locker room of an otherwise successful basketball team. Do you need to let off steam on the court but feel it's unwise to start throwing down with the opposition? Sasha is there for you. Do you find it hard to bond with your teammates? Don't worry, just talk about Vujacic behind his back. Do you need some brownie points with the press for being an engaging, somewhat amusing interview? The Machine has you covered. Who else could make Kobe's (self-dubbed) Black Mamba nickname seem reasonable? Sasha Vujacic is there with the idea that he is "The (Shooting) Machine." He may be a selfish basketball player but he is a selfless individual. Any locker room can happily unite in agreeing to hate Sasha Vujacic. Sasha is the epitome of the old cliche, "Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a while." No not that one, the other one. "He does things that don't show up in the box score." Yeah, that's Sasha all right.

General manager Mitch Kupchak has stated that he may have to shake things up for the Lakers to three-peat this June. Instead of augmenting the front court rotation or looking for a point guard who wasn't a contemporary of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, perhaps Kupchak should bring back some old blood. The Lakers were 18-7 with Vujacic this season but have a record of only 17-9 since the trade. The numbers don't lie. I hope you make your way back soon, Sasha. I miss you.

There are some things I will never understand.