The (Eddie) House Always Wins (But Not in This Case)

I know what you're thinking. Why would Tony Parker cheat on Eva Longoria? I don't know. But I think we can all agree that this is another mark against the French and that things have been all downhill since they were kind enough to help us out with the whole American Revolution thing. Even more important than continuing to insult the French is the matter of examining Tony Parker's decision making. Not with the basketball in his hands leading the fast break, but with women. Eva Longoria is clearly ranked second on this list of attractive WAGs of athletes while Erin Barry is (quite generously) given the number five spot.

                                                       Certainly Brent Barry's better half

I'm sure Brent Barry goes home every night quite pleased with himself (at least until today) but then again he is the spawn of notorious douche-bag Rick Barry and his nickname is "Bones." Tony Parker should have higher standards. He is tall (but not too tall), handsome, foreign and blessed with fantastic stubble. Also, he is a rap star. Okay, maybe that is a mark against him. Still, he seems to be quite the catch and certainly has the ability to pick and choose his partners from the cream of the crop (the creme de la creme, if you will...cause he's French...yeah). Parker clearly showed that he had this ability because he wound up marrying EVA FREAKIN' LONGORIA!! And now we find out he's slumming it. Tony, Tony. My only hope is that dozens of other mistresses come forward (Tiger Woods-style) and the upstanding San Antonio Spurs organization is embroiled in scandal. I will eagerly await Gregg Popovich's terse and hopefully hilarious response.

...What? That's not what you were thinking? My apologies. Sometimes I forget the immortal words of one Dogg, Snoop. Onto the picks (courtesy of SportsBook).

"(Got) my mind on my money and my money on my mind" Snoop Dogg in Gin and Juice

I am wiping my slate clean. I am not 1-3 in my locks of the season but actually 0-0. How did that happen? I'm refusing to count un-researched picks. Important details such as the Cavaliers might be missing three starters to injuries escaped my attention. I will be far more prepared in the future (but likely no more successful).

Lakers/Pistons OVER 202.5 total points (-110)
The Lakers have shattered this over/under in all but two of their games so far this season. Pistons games have only reached this point total in two of their games. I guess this is why Vegas makes money. They know what they're doing. But the Lakers proved last night against the Milwaukee Bucks (a team that plays even slower and less efficiently than Detroit) that they have the ability to dictate pace and style of play. Also, the Lakers defensive effort is sure to inconsistent on the second night of a back-to-back against an inferior opponent. Look for a high scoring game as the Lakers easily top their season-low of 99 points.


Chris Bosh OVER 4 made free throws (-140)
Chris Bosh has struggled this year. He is only averaging 3.8 made free throws per contest. However, he has not yet been faced with the defense of Hedo Turkoglu and Hakim Warrick. Having seen a few Suns games this year, I know perfectly well that Turkoglu will go to the bench in foul trouble at some point during the first half. Bosh seems to be a likely beneficiary of Hedo's inadequate post defense. He's far too talented to continue struggling and tonight seems to be a good time for him to get back on track.

What is the sneakiest line Vegas has up tonight? Probably the Suns/Legion of Doom over/under at 209.5. The over looks tempting because of all of the offensive talent involved in tonight's contest but the Suns have been playing at a league average pace. The days of 7 Seconds or Less are gone. The Legion plays even slower and has the nasty habit of playing suffocating defense. This game will be lower scoring than anticipated (though I'd still take the over if forced to make a decision).

Please don't make these bets. You'll surely lose money.